THE HUMAN SIDE OF OPTOMETRY
Check your own local listings for "Game Man."
BY ANDREW S. GURWOOD, O.D., F.A.A.O., PHILADELPHIA, PA.
I was standing at the front desk of the office when he checked in. As he walked into the waiting area, you could feel the charisma. He had a little attitude -- not a swagger, but a confidence, if you will. As I recall, I never tossed out the phrase "Come on down," but he took the initiative and did. He rounded the corner for the examination rooms and exclaimed in a robust announcer's voice
"Heeeeeeere we go!"
Proceeding down the hall, he selected "door number two," faster than I could say "May we have our next contestant, Johnny." This bolt of lightning had come in and seated himself before we even had his insurance information. Undaunted, I walked into the room, washed up and introduced myself. It went something like this:
ILLUSTRATION BY CINDY REVELL
Be ready for anything
John: "Who is our next contestant, Don
Pardo?" he said with his hand over his ear.
Me: "Hi. I'm Dr.
Gurwood. I'm going to do your eye examination today. "
John: "An eye examination! And -- a new car! That's right, a Pontiac Le Mans. Four wheels, four doors, four seats, power steering, AM/FM stereo and a motor. For all your driving needs, Pontiac Le Mans."
Me: ". . .
Riiiight." (By this time, John's caretaker was in stitches. However, she seemed intent on letting me blaze my own trail. So . . . a-way we went.)
Me: "Pontiac Le Mans? Why not a refrigerator?"
John: "It's a
re-frig-ger-a-tor! A 25-cubic foot, side-by-side, re-frig-ger-a-tor with ice and water through the door . . . by Kenmore."
Me: "Ah. Can you remind me of how I won the
Me: "Concentration? Is that still on? Who was/is the host of concentration?"
John: Hugh Downs.
Me: "Is that right? Laura! (Shouting out for a co-worker down the hall), who hosted Concentration?"
Laura: "Hugh Downs."
Me: "Who hosted The Price Is Right," I asked him.
John: "Bob Barker."
My eyebrow went up (Spock-like, even).
Me: "Too easy -- don't get cocky. Who hosted The Newlywed Game?"
John: "Bob Eubanks."
Me: "You gotta be
kiddin' me." Maybe it was a Bob thing.
Me: " Peter Marshall."
John: "Hollywood Squares."
Me: (I'm sure you've all heard of Rain Man; well, I had found Game Man.) "Wink, Monty, Pat, Dick."
John: "Let's Make A Deal, Wheel of Fortune, Pyramid."
Me: "Gotcha! You didn't name Wink's show."
John: "Which one do you want? There was Gambit, Tic Tac Dough, High Rollers . . . ."
Me: "Everybody! Get in here! Name a game show and then give this artist room!"
He didn't miss a show or a host. For his talent, we awarded him . . . a new car! Well, actually it was a new spectacle prescription -- I just wanted to say, a new car!
DO YOU HAVE A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE? DISCUSS YOUR STORY WITH RENÉ LUTHE, SENIOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR OF
OPTOMETRIC MANAGEMENT, AT (215) 643-8132 OR LUTHER@BOUCHER1.COM.
OM OFFERS AN HONORARIUM FOR
Optometric Management, Issue: March 2005